Entwining the Threads of Fate Anew
by SkyChild
Summary: You left me to stand on my own, pushed me forward so cleverly and gently that I didn't even notice at first. Why do you have to be so mature? Why couldn't you at least once allow yourself to break down, to cry, ask me not to leave you?  HikaruKaoru  FIN
1. Chapter 1

Re-entwining the Threads of Fate

Author: SkyChild

Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club

Pairing: Kaoru/Hikaru

Date: April 2007 - ???

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Author's note: Following canon, I actually don't believe that the twins could become romantically involved in any way, and my other stories on Ouran all follow the notion that, while they share a uniquely strong and intimate bond, there's nothing more to it. However, this story has been running around in my head for a few weeks already, making me want to try and see how things could turn out for the both of them, should there really be any deeper emotions involved.

Enjoy it anyway :)

* * *

"If I lay here, if I just lay here

Would you lie with me

And just forget the world

Forget what we're taught

Before we get too old

Show me garden that's bursting into life."

(Snow Patrol, "Chasing Cars")

* * *

CHAPTER 1

This, Hikaru decided, had to be the definition of bliss.

He'd just awoken to the comfortable, warm feeling of being absolutely sheltered and utterly at peace. Part of the reason for this, his half-asleep mind mused, were the soft, cosy blankets wrapped around him, the first rays of sunlight filtering through a gap between the curtains and a bird chirping into this early morning's silence. The other and more important part, though, was Kaoru, pressed closely to his back, fast asleep, breathing a peaceful rhythm into his brother's neck. He didn't even need to turn to know it was his twin, he simply felt it.

The boy hummed softly in pleasure. Yes, absolute bliss… nothing could compare to this peace, this nearness, and he snuggled a bit closer into the sheets, burying himself a bit more into the warmth that was his younger brother.

Only when his mind slowly drifted from the realm of sleep, Hikaru came realize the oddity of this situation: why was Kaoru here in the first place? It had been months since he'd last come to Hikaru at night…

Which was strange indeed, as the older twin knew very well how often Kaoru was plagued by very vivid, if not scary, dreams at night, and how hard it was for him to fall asleep again if Hikaru wasn't there. So they had long since taken to the habit of sleeping together.

When his brother had, from one day to the other, stopped his nightly visits, Hikaru had wondered, but accepted his twin's decision, even though he couldn't – even after almost three months – get used to the coldness and loneliness of his empty bed. He hadn't questioned, though.

Just as he wouldn't question now. It felt too good… Turning around to lazily drape an arm around Kaoru's naked waist, he pressed his face to his brother's collarbone, gently nuzzling the soft skin beneath the chin with his nose. Kaoru smelled so good, and the skin right next to his face looked so kissable, Hikaru had to keep himself from pressing his lips to it.

While still fast asleep, Kaoru reacted to his brother's nearness at once, giving a cute little sigh and literally burying himself in his brother's embrace, as close as physically possible.

The older twin had to smile at that. While they were no children anymore, Kaoru could sometimes be just as adorable as he used to be, when they'd still been younger. To that time, they could recognize the other's touch even in sleep, able to clearly distinguish between their respective brother's, their parents' and the servants' touches.

'Let's see…' Hikaru mused with a mischievous little smile before detangling the one arm that wasn't draped over his twin's body from their curl of limbs and sheets and bringing it up to Kaoru's neck. His fingers started to make little circles on the warm skin of the nape, tousling the lower strands of red hair a bit more, and the younger twin reacted beautifully, tilting – although still sleeping – his head slightly, giving a little huff, lips parting… Hikaru snickered quietly. Yeah, he knew exactly where his brother's weak spots were, where to mercilessly tickle or comfortingly stroke him. Then he remembered how Kaoru would sometimes start to purr softly, clearly enjoying the older boy's ministrations. The thought saddened him for some reason. How long had it been since they'd last been together like that?

He missed it. Dearly.

One more reason not to ponder now, Hikaru decided. Right now, he felt warm, sheltered, happy… no use in destroying this moment. Keeping up his gentle caresses, he closed his eyes again, very much intending to slip back into that wonderful state of peace…

… and he would forever, to the last day of this world, hate Tamaki for calling them _now_. The familiar ring tone made him snap out of his content state of mind, made him groan in exasperation, and he so wanted to simply ignore it… yet the persistent noise continued, so he finally felt obliged to blindly grope for his phone before it drove him mad.

"Yeah, Tono… what's up?" he yawned into the receiver, trying not to sound too pissed off at the fact that, due to their lord's call, Kaoru was stirring and blinking sleepily, shifting slightly out of Hikaru's embrace.

Struggling to focus on Tamaki's ramblings about what splendid an idea he'd just had, inviting the host club and their customers on a weekend cruise along the Japanese Eastern coast, how they were to be ready within five minutes and, oh, this was going to be so awesome, and Haruhi in a swimsuit, and eating crabs, and …. Sometime during the further details of Tamaki's plans, Hikaru had spaced out, dozing off for a moment, joining in again to murmur, "yeah… sure… stop yelling already, we're getting ready… give us another half an hour, alright? See ya…", before unceremoniously hanging up.

Letting his phone fall to the floor, he gracelessly flopped back on the bed with a groan, planning to at least enjoy a few more moments in his twin's embrace… however, Kaoru had sat up by now, slipping from Hikaru's arms at once

"Ahm… I'm better going now. We need to get ready, before Tono comes to kick us out of bed, ne…" With a not-so-honest smile directed at his stunned brother, Kaoru scrambled to the edge of the bed, gathered his clothes and left for the bathroom.

Watching Kaoru all but hurry out of the room, Hikaru was unable to do anything but lie completely still and stare. What was this about? And – more important – what did the weird look in his brother's eyes mean?

Strange, very strange. And, thinking about it now, Hikaru's mind came up with several other oddities he'd noticed during the last months, however, had actually overlooked, too caught up in all those new sights, experiences and sensations brought about by the twins' broadening world.

It was strange. And Hikaru found he didn't like it. He would have to keep an eye on his brother.

* * *

One of the few things Hikaru remembered from his half-asleep phone talk with Tamaki was that they were to come to Ouran first, despite it being Saturday, to fetch their costumes. Said costumes turned out to be mind-numbingly colourful sailor suits, with Tamaki, of course, wearing the captain's gala uniform and the Hitachiin twins, of course, ending up in some rather savage-looking pirate rags ("Those eye patches are adding an especially dangerous touch! The girls are so going to love it!!!")

For a moment Hikaru was able to forget about his brother's weird behaviour as he teased Haruhi, who had some trouble accepting her new role as the poor seaman recruit for the donkeywork. Chattering about how nice Hunny with his apron looked as 'apprentice' of 'ship cook' Mori, and why Kyouya as the evil first mate wasn't wearing a peg leg, they gathered their clothes and left Ouran for their waiting limo that was to bring to them the port.

Before entering the car, however, Hikaru noticed the lack of Kaoru's presence next to him. For some reason, his brother was still missing. So was Kyouya, for that matter, and Hikaru told the others to wait while he went to see what took the two so long. He heard Haruhi call for him and follow him after a moment, but decided not to react. Somehow, he had the feeling that something bad was taking place right now.

He just hadn't known _how_ bad.

When he reached the third music room, he crept those last few metres to the door, actually planning to startle those two… however, when he slowly and very quietly pushed open the door, he was confronted with a sight that made him stop dead in his tracks.

Wait a second.

Why…why was Kyouya standing so close, _too_ close to his brother?

Why was Kaoru's gaze directed sideward, why was he chewing on his bottom lip, shoulders tense and eyes somewhat… sad? Confused? For some reason, Hikaru couldn't read his brothers expression. He could, however, see very clearly Kyouya's hand resting at Kaoru's neck, palm pressed to the collarbone, fingers caressing soft skin and sliding casually a few millimetres under the redhead's collar… and this sight made Hikaru's blood boil. For some reason, his chest burned up at the fact that Kyouya was _touching_his brother, _his_ Kaoru… yet what was worse was the natural way that offending hand was on his twin, almost as if… As if it wasn't the first time…

All those thoughts took Hikaru a mere split-second, just as long as it took Haruhi to come up behind him. It would be the decent thing to do, he knew, to make some sound to alert the two in the music room to his presence, give them the chance to save face… yet right now, he felt far too angry for that. And so he unceremoniously pulled the door open, making both Kaoru and Kyouya flinch, making the shadow king's offending hand fall from his brother's neck at once.

"It's time", he announced coldly while staring directly into Kyouya's eyes, wanting to make sure the other at least caught a fraction of Hikaru's anger. The dark-haired boy, however, just returned his look, his eyes maybe a bit frostier than usual.

Kaoru, however, seemed to be quite relieved at their interruption. "You're right, we shouldn't be late", he murmured with a smile that Hikaru identified as being fake at first sight, and hurried out of the room, not sparing anyone even a glance.

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Author's Note: English isn't my first language, so I'd ask you to show some mercy on any mistakes you might fight. Tell me what I did wrong, please! And while you're at it: give me some reviews, as well ;)

Take care!


	2. Chapter 2

Hello guys, sorry for taking so long :( Hope you haven't given up on this story yet

Hello guys, sorry for taking so long :( Hope you haven't given up on this story yet! I hadn't forgotten about it, but other fandoms came, university came, a new apartment, a new job and several trips came, and you know how fast time flies… aaaanyway, I'm back again, hope's not lost, and I would like thank all of you very much for reviewing my work! Your encouraging comments mean so much to me!!

Krysty: Thanks for telling me! Stupid typos ;)

And now… on with the show!

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CHAPTER 2

It turned out to be easier than he had expected. After all, his brother and he had long since mastered the art of acting in front of the girls, no matter how they felt themselves.

My brother and I…

A cold lump of dread was twisting in his stomach. He couldn't get the scene he had witnessed out of his head, even as was sitting close to a dark-haired girl with pale features, whose huge eyes remained fixed on his face in awe all the time while they talked about nothing at all. Nothing of importance anyway.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to dance!" Tamaki's cheerful voice carried across the upper deck, and at a clap of his hands, the musicians marched to their respective places. Tamaki had ordered a music band, all dressed in colourful sailor outfits, to play on the upper deck, and Hikaru had to admit that the blonde really knew how to create an atmosphere. The yacht he'd organized for their female guests was magnificent, a dream in white and blue, and he wondered for a moment if he had made all this up only to be able to present it to a wide-eyed Haruhi, who, most likely, had never before been on this kind of ship. However, the pang of jealousy that would normally have accompanied this thought didn't come. Today, it was someone else who drew Hikaru's attention.

All the while he was dancing with his guest his eyes kept drifting to his younger brother who, in turn, was gracefully leading his girl up and down the dance floor.

Some would consider Hikaru narcissistic for thinking his twin was beautiful, but the older Hitachiin boy didn't think anything of it. To him, they had never been identical; as a matter of fact, he found it puzzling how people could mistake one of them for the other when they where so different. One entity, maybe, but two opposite parts of it. Kaoru was his counterpart, and that was what Hikaru loved about him.

Anyway, he thought while watching his other half, his brother _was_ beautiful, no doubt about it.

He didn't even register the loving, adoring look on his face, and thankfully his guest was so utterly high at this display of brotherly love that she didn't mind that Hikaru hadn't acknowledged her presence for minutes. Otherwise, Tamaki would've had his hide, as he appeared out of nowhere right behind the older twin, nudging his back and whispering something about sunbathing and showing some skin to the ladies.

Given the fact that is was only March and the weather not at all inviting for something as exposing as sunbathing, Hikaru gave the Prince a brief look that clearly questioned his sanity, before resigning to his fate, disentangling his arms from his guest and excusing himself.

Sometime later, the Hitachiin twins were lounging comfortably (and shirtlessly) on the sun deck, Kaoru's head resting in Hikaru's lap. The older twin felt reminded of how he had awoken this morning. He liked the feeling of Kaoru in his arms, still… something was amiss. Had been for a while now. His brother's thoughts had drifted off to a place Hikaru couldn't follow, as they'd done so often lately. Trying to find an answer as to what was wrong, the older boy remembered the weird scene between his brother and Kyouya some hours earlier. His eyes automatically sought out the Shadow King…and the redhead froze. Kyouya's gaze was fixed on Kaoru. Not on the twins, not accidentally on one of them, but specifically on Kaoru, and Hikaru didn't know what shocked him more – that the dark-haired boy knew who of them was who, or the look in his eyes that the redhead couldn't decipher right away. It was…intense… dark… hungry. That's what it was. Kyouya was watching his Kaoru with such desire… Hikaru paled.

No… impossible. Yet as much as his mind tried to deny it, all the signs were there. The touch he'd witnessed this morning. The strange look in Kaoru's eyes to that time. It all made sense now. It was clear that Kyouya wanted Kaoru – and it was equally clear that Kaoru wasn't sure how to react, how to decide.

Hikaru almost would've growled. His chest was burning with anger, and he couldn't wait to confront Kyouya. The Shadow King wouldn't get away with that!

His chance came later that day, when the girls retired to prepare for the fulminant gala reception in the evening. Tamaki had briefly summoned the Host Club members on the bridge to brief them on their roles for the night. After his enthusiastic speech, he dragged off Haruhi (to force her to wear a dress, no doubt), with Kaoru in tow who probably intended to save the poor girl from too much tono-energy. Mori and Hunny had already left the room, leaving behind only Kyouya, who was typing something on his laptop, and… Hikaru.

Noticing Hikaru's continued presence, Kyouya looked up. "What is it?"

In an attempt not to yell at his senpai, the older twin tried to calm down, tried, for the first time, to analyze his feelings.

Somehow, Hikaru had relied on his brother to always be there. Not consciously, not with the intention of using his twin, no. It simply felt natural that Kaoru would always be right behind him to catch him, to watch his back, just as Hikaru would catch him…

Every step he'd taken out of their shared garden had been taken with the secure knowledge that, if anything failed, it wouldn't really matter, because the most important person for him would be there.

It had always been that way, and the thought that Kaoru might, one day, not be there anymore, that they might not be the most important persons in each other's lives was so absurd, so plainly unimaginable, it had never occurred to him. For living without his sibling wasn't just unthinkable… it was impossible.

He needed him.

He hated sleeping without his twin. When Kaoru stopped his nightly visits altogether, Hikaru had of course wondered,. He hadn't questioned, though. Maybe he should have.

Maybe, then, his twin wouldn't have stood so close to the shadow king.

These conclusions made the thought of Kyouya near Kaoru appear even nastier. "I'd like you to stay away from my brother", he ground out between grit teeth.

"You don't seem to want to see him happy", Kyouya commented coolly, adjusting his glasses so that his eyes, once again, were hidden from view by the shining surface, seemingly not the least bit offended by Hikaru's less than friendly words.

Happy? the older Hitachiin twin raged inwardly, you're not the one that could make him happy!

"You're only using him!"

"And what for, if I may ask?"

"To forget about the fact that Tamaki has only eyes for Haruhi!" That had come out fiercer than intended, and for a brief instant Hikaru wondered whether he should apologize for his cruel answer, but decided against it. He couldn't stand Kyouya's guts right now, and there was no reason (at least no good reason, in Hikaru's opinion) not to tell him.

"So do you, if I may point out. And I would advise you not to tell me... but Kaoru." With that, Kyouya took his notebook and simple walked out of the room, seemingly completely unfazed by their conversation, leaving a seething Hikaru behind.

What do you know of how to make him happy? You know nothing, while I know him inside out. And I'm so not going to let you have him!!

Refusing to ponder the reason for his unjustified anger at Kyouya, Hikaru stormed out the door, as well. The shadow king's question wouldn't leave his mind, and so he went to search out the one he needed to see the most right now, to get some answers.

Searching the yacht for his brother gave Hikaru time to cool down, time to think. He could even figure out some of the answers he needed for himself. Why Kaoru had stopped coming to him at night, for example. So do you, if I may point out, the Shadow King's words echoed in his mind. He had never considered it before, how his behaviour might seem to everybody else. Could it be that Kaoru had misinterpreted the fascination Haruhi held for him, a fascination that was only that – interest and brotherly affections?

Might it be that Kaoru had felt that his brother might… disappear? Leave him?? Had he stopped visiting Hikaru at night for that reason? To gently sever the connection between them, so it wouldn't hurt when Hikaru stepped away from him?

Impossible, Hikaru thought, paling. Impossible!! Kaoru couldn't be afraid of that! He couldn't be afraid of something so completely improbable!

Could he?

… Yes, Hikaru answered himself, his ever-thoughtful, ever-pensive twin might do just that.

It wasn't me leaving you, Kaoru, he told his twin's image in his mind, You thought of leaving, of us being separated one day, years before I even considered taking a single step without you. In your heart, you had long ago turned from me, to protect yourself of the hurt that was sure to come. And I can't even fault you

You knew, of course. Just like you've always known more than I do. However…believe it or not…I really would have liked to stay with you.

Damn, I still do! I want to be the one at your side! Not someone else, and especially not…

Hikaru surprised himself with the vehemence of those thoughts. Somehow, the mere thought of Kyouya's hand on his twin's neck was enough to make him burn up with a malevolent emotion he hadn't even known up to now and, thus, didn't know how to interpret. An emotion that made him want to grab Kaoru, drag him to a place where none would disturb them, and never let him go again.

It surprised him even more, since he actually liked Kyouya and held a healthy amount of respect for him – so why did he feel the need to smash his glasses right into his ever-collected face?

Hikaru grit his teeth.

They needed to talk. Now.

- - - - - -

Alright, hope you liked it! Next chapter: fluff-alarm!


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: It's March 2010 by now, three years since I started this story. Other fandoms came, work came, you know how it goes, but somehow, discontinuing this story was never an option, it was always somewhere in my mind. And after about 70 % of the third chapter were occupying space on my hard disk for about one year, today I finally sat down to finish it and now hereby declare this story complete. Thank you all for waiting so patiently.

Not everything turned out the way I would have wanted it to, but re-writing larger parts of this would definitely be the killer, and I hope you prefer a chapter with a few minor imperfections to a story left unfinished :)

Take care and enjoy!

* * *

_All that I am_

_All that I ever was_

_Is here in your perfect eyes_

_They're all I can see_

_I don't know where_

_Confused about how as well_

_Just know that these things will never change for us at all_

_[Snow Patrol, Chasing Cars]_

**CHAPTER 3**

After so many years of sharing a life with Kaoru, Hikaru had a pretty good idea where his brother would go when he felt confused and lost – aside from going to Hikaru, that is. And it pleased the older Hitachiin twin to find his brother where he had expected him to be – in their shared cabin, protected from curious eyes and other people's opinions. It pleased him that he still knew his brother, knew how his mind worked and why he acted the way did. Kaoru was a private person by nature, preferring to deal with problems within the tight circle consisting only of him and his brother. Or solely by himself. As he was doing right now.

As Hikaru quietly opened the door, he found Kaoru standing next to the porthole, arms crossed, brow creased in thought, looking out into the falling night.

Only the sound of the closing door made Kaoru become aware of his twin's presence. He turned around quickly, eyes widening for a moment. His startled reaction told Hikaru that Kaoru was aware that something was wrong between them. It wasn't exactly guilt he read in his younger brother's eyes, but whatever that emotion was, it wasn't far from it, either.

For the first time in weeks, Hikaru took the time to really, closely look at his brother, engraving that beloved face even deeper into his memory than it already was, looking for and finding the familiar traits and features he knew and treasured.

Yes, this was Kaoru, his other half, and in retrospect, Hikaru realized what had happened, what he had been too busy to notice, how he had neglected his twin to the point that Kyouya had had a chance to step between them. Somehow, though, he was glad. Without that ugly moment this morning, Hikaru might not have noticed until it was too late.

Now, though, the older Hitachiin was forced to analyse his feelings, and it hadn't taken him long to come to a resolution. In fact, the answer was right there, waiting for him to accept it. It had been there all along, because there had never been a moment when Hikaru had actually doubted who it was that his soul was bound to: his younger brother. Taboos and other people's opinion didn't even occur to him. His heart knew what it wanted. Whom it had always wanted.

You left me to stand on my own, pushed me forward so cleverly and gently that I didn't even notice at first, he thought. With that realization came a low, unpronounced anger, at himself and at his twin. Why do you have to be so wise, so mature? Why couldn't you at least once allow yourself to break down, to cry, ask me not to leave you? Why didn't you allow me to do the same, acting as if you knew exactly what was best for us?

It didn't matter anymore, though. The time had come for Hikaru to act, to regain what he had almost lost. And if Kaoru felt the way Hikaru suspected, than the older twin wouldn't take a 'no' for an answer.

Kaoru couldn't help but blush under his brother's scrutiny, averting his face to avoid that intense gaze. He had a feeling why Hikaru was looking at him like that: that incident in the morning, when Hikaru had surprised him with Kyouya. The Shadow King had once more urged Kaoru to answer to him, to state or deny his attraction, and Kaoru had, once again, been unable to comply.

Now, however, for the first time in what felt like an eternity Hikaru's and Kaoru's hearts were beating in unison, their minds were interlinked, and no words were needed to make sure that both were thinking the same.

'Something has happened.'

'Something has come between us...'

'...when we were so sure nothing ever would.'

'Where will we go from here?'

No, Kaoru told himself firmly, this was not going to happen. He and Hikaru were moving forward, he couldn't give in now and let the last months be for nothing, couldn't allow them to fall back into old patterns.

Hikaru's eyes widened incredulously as his twin suddenly averted his gazes, turning his back to him in an obvious gesture of rejection. It hurt. It hurt so much that he had trouble breathing for a moment.

Was this... what Kaoru had felt over the last months? Rejected? Alone? Only half? Or was this what Kaoru wanted, to be left alone, to be able to move along in life without his brother burdening him? For a moment, Hikaru was doubting, and he might have turned around to leave as well, clearly severing their bond by reciprocating his brother's rejection, but then he detected a minute trembling in Kaoru's shoulders, saw the tension in those slim shoulders, and any doubt was wiped away.

No, Kaoru didn't want them to be separated. Neither did Hikaru. And so there was no further hesitation needed. Stepping forward, he pulled his twin into a fierce, yet gentle embrace, burying his face in strands of red hair.

Kaoru started for a moment at the arms wrapping so possessively around him before relaxing instinctively. But no, he couldn't... Kaoru knew that he needed to resist, needed to point out to himself that this was _so_ wrong, but somehow, he couldn't bring himself to struggle… not when warmth was seeping into his chilled body from behind, not when his brother's head rested so familiarly on his shoulder and oh, his lips almost brushed over his neck as he spoke… "Kyouya's not going to have you."

He needed to resist, he knew it, his mind screamed it at him, and still… the younger twin closed his eyes and leaned back a bit, trusting his brother to take his weight, turning his face into those soft strands of red hair. This scent… it was so very comforting, so very familiar, it made him slip back into a routine he mustn't fall victim to again, for both of their sakes! He needed to keep his distance… and couldn't.

To be the sole focus of Hikaru's attention, being held so possessively… he had been longing for this for months, so badly… Why now?

Hikaru felt his twin's confusion, felt his hesitation, and chose to repeat his words once more so there was no way that Kaoru could miss their meaning: "Kyouya is not going to have you."

This time, the message held by both the words and the tone of voice finally sank in.

Kaoru stiffened just the slightest bit in his brother's embrace. "Hikaru...?" Could that mean...?

Hearing his twin's hesitant voice only strengthened the older boy's resolve. He wouldn't allow anyone to take this away from him, and for once he had no trouble identifying his feelings. This was much easier than with Haruhi, much more natural… this was how it was supposed to be, screw the consequences. He had never been able to hide from his twin, and he wouldn't start trying now. This was too important, too precious.

"I was supposed to protect you, not the other way around! But I know you did, all the time… Did you think I wouldn't notice it hurt you?"

"You never seemed to notice…" Hell, why did Kaoru's voice sound that small, that timid? The older twin pulled back a bit, grabbing his brother's shoulder and pulling him around to face him. Kaoru's eyes weren't wet, as he'd feared, and yet…there was a resignation, a fear there, that Hikaru didn't like the least.  
"Damn, Hikaru, why do you have to make it that hard?" The younger one finally murmured, and the older twin recognized the look in his eyes to be the same one he'd held when Kyouya had touched him back then in the music room, a look of fear, indecision, longing.

"Didn't it ever occur to you that… maybe…I'd _want_ to stay with you?" the older twin asked gently.

The reply came at once, fiercer than Hikaru had expected. "That's nonsense, and you know it! We're growing up; we can't just stay together like that, happily ever after!"

"You're being stubborn!"

"No, I'm being sensible!"

"Then… I ask you to be insensible for once", Hikaru said with a voice much lower, much gentler now. He answered Kaoru's questioning look with a tender caress to his cheek. "Because… I was serious when I said I wanted to stay."

"Hikaru…?" The younger boy didn't get the chance to finish his question, for all at once, the fierce embrace was there again, a face was buried in his hair and kisses were pressed to his neck, sweet and warm and loving… He started to tremble, fighting against the pleasurable haze settling over him, fighting against the instinct to simply feel and enjoy, to maybe return the embrace and tilt his head for more contact… no…this was wrong…but why did it feel so right? Like the broken pieces of a china figure locking together to be one again, like two threads of fate re-entwining with each other…

Kaoru was a thoughtful person by nature, far more so than his brother. In his heart, he'd long since known that he needed his brother in a way that went beyond simple brotherly affection. He knew that he... loved Hikaru, knew that he'd never feel this way for anyone else. And he knew that society would never, ever accept these feelings. This had made it a little easier to bear the hurt of watching his brother getting closer to Haruhi – knowing that a love like this wasn't meant to be anyway.

But now it seemed that Hikaru was willing to take that risk, that he... really, truly wanted Kaoru to stay with him. Not Haruhi. None else. Just him, Kaoru.

His heart swelled at that thought, but he had spent too much time struggling to convince himself that it could never be, and these thought were now eating at him, reminding him why he had better leave now.

He needed to be the sensible one here. He needed to be! Otherwise, they were lost.

Hikaru felt his brother trying to move away and knew instinctively that he must not allow that to happen if he didn't want to lose his brother for good. And so he did what he usually did: acting on impulse. Grabbing his twin's shoulder, he firmly and resolutely, kissed him… only to feel Kaoru stiffen in his arms

For a moment Hikaru was terrified that, maybe, he'd misinterpreted things, read something into his brother's actions that wasn't there, scared him…

... but then, he felt Kaoru's lips against his, felt him return the kiss, a bit hesitatingly, shyly, but he definitely returned it, and Hikaru's heart soared. For it felt like, finally, he'd gotten through to his beloved brother, had gotten him to understand that he was serious about what he said, and that Kaoru obviously felt the same.

After a while, Kaoru pulled back just enough to get some air, keeping his forehead pressed to his brother's. "There are…" …things to consider, he would've liked to say, things like their family, future, tradition, the society as a whole, and what it meant to truly go 'we against the world'…

However, those thoughts stopped being important the moment their lips found each other again. What was so horrible about loving your twin, he wondered faintly. Was it that no one could possibly think of a bond any closer, any stronger, than theirs? Of the same blood and kin, together from birth, understanding each other blindly and being as close as two souls could possibly be – this was what everyone else was scared of.

But that's _their_ problem!

For Kaoru's heart knew what it wanted. It wasn't an aberration, it wasn't sick, and he wasn't alone in this strange, desperate love. He had never been alone, and Hikaru's arms firmly wrapped around him told him that he didn't have to worry about ever being alone.

Because they were one.

* * *

Thank you!


End file.
